Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crimsonlilies

Offline (yesterday at 7:04pm) | Search for a member

crimsonlilies

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1038
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About crimsonlilies : I'm a writer and a reader. An artist and a fighter.

crimsonlilies's page activity

Visits<b>duckymtz</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:13am<b>TheUglyBitch</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:07am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:00pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Codecodex2</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:29pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:07am<b>lizzie57</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:22am<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:25pm<b>ChampHero</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:25am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:20pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:59am<b>Dudebromans</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:49pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:52am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:33am<b>Ki11erRabbit</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 5:41pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:37am<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:28am

Liked!<b>duckymtz</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:25am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:58am<b>tj4234</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:53pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:37am<b>ChampHero</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:49pm<b>lizzie57</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:28am

crimsonlilies's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of crimsonlilies's badges

crimsonlilies's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (2326)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

#21339329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (2651)

On 01/18/2015 at 1:29am - intimacy - by virginwhore (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (5680)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (4409)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42333) - you deserved it (5106)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45888) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59933) - you deserved it (5701)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57642) - you deserved it (6937)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50288) - you deserved it (5255)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (8474)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56380) - you deserved it (5054)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (6128)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58639) - you deserved it (5688)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (6985)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: