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crimson46

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crimson46

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  • Number of visits : 508
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crimson46's page activity

Visits<b>colapie</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:33pm<b>5friends</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 6:37pm

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crimson46's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

#16956898
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29726) - you deserved it (5897)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:36am - kids - by dee - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (3627)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (4930)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

#16837110
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (6608)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (3481)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51169) - you deserved it (9902)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36368) - you deserved it (3185)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

#16468673
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38466) - you deserved it (5409)

On 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm - kids - by fuck (man) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (63444)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (10289)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (4333)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44787) - you deserved it (5618)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42453) - you deserved it (8265)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32860) - you deserved it (16841)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (5677)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



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