Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cricketsins

Online | Search for a member

cricketsins

0Liked!

cricketsinscricketsins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1725
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cricketsins's page activity

Visits<b>tony1891</b> - 12 hours ago<b>dudeman1212</b> - 13 hours ago<b>JS47</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 16 hours ago<b>lisaint</b> - 19 hours ago<b>JoshTheTacoMan</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:09pm<b>LadyLelan</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:33pm<b>stylesrepublic</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:44pm<b>geri665</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:11am<b>spiperwps</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Melix</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:36pm<b>garage</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:52pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:21am<b>melly1422</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:04pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:43am<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:36am<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:25am<b>xBeats</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:02pm

cricketsins's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of cricketsins's badges

cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28332) - you deserved it (2766)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (11006)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (49606)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39434) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57391) - you deserved it (7982)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (4578)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45887) - you deserved it (5302)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

#21134956
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33306) - you deserved it (5311)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by romancocks - United States (Florida)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (8212)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42458) - you deserved it (4580)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49017) - you deserved it (7585)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (7870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43201) - you deserved it (2548)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: