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cricket266

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cricket266

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (40 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 216
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cricket266 : hey its me cricket ... just an average guy in an average world having an amazingly average time :)

cricket266's page activity

Visits<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:27pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:58am<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:14am<b>christian2234</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:10am<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 7:08pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 6:31am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:55am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:07pm<b>Ari1337</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:19pm<b>ilytyvm</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:36am<b>Renlobo</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Cat_Upton</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 12:29pm<b>toxicpsycho</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 9:06pm<b>quinn1184</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:21am<b>suckingatlife</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 6:45am

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cricket266's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52621) - you deserved it (8970)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (4899)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47177) - you deserved it (4594)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (9707)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (10133)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31971) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11695) - you deserved it (65518)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41833) - you deserved it (8707)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24645) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (4656)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML

#13214179
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12146) - you deserved it (19252)

On 09/26/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

#12353500
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35811) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/06/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by shitpile - United States



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