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crazytwinsmom's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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crazytwinsmom's favorite FMLs
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by mel / 03/25/2016 at 9:20am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by DmanTheMan / 03/18/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Work
by cassie0216 / 02/01/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:40am / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML
by DookDaSpook / 01/11/2016 at 6:15pm / United States (California) / Work
by blackonblight / 11/11/2015 at 6:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML
by flibbertigibbet / 05/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Health
by notmysistersbf / 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
by DrunkParents / 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Montana) / Work
by MisUnFortunate / 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
- Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey… Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing… Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at…