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crazymunkees

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crazymunkees
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 545
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crazymunkees's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44725) - you deserved it (13334)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (5106)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47345) - you deserved it (1946)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10606) - you deserved it (23183)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11759) - you deserved it (27709)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (11100)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

#6120564
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (4567)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62856) - you deserved it (11209)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

#4318631
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (3440)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm - work - by caiti (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (44294)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

#3867495
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43735) - you deserved it (15174)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53062) - you deserved it (8894)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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