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crazylady10294

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crazylady10294

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  • Number of visits : 412
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crazylady10294's favorite FMLs

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14902) - you deserved it (62789)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

#1475433
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68112) - you deserved it (8995)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

#1467567
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11025) - you deserved it (73233)

On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (8709)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (65262)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

#1090748
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46784) - you deserved it (9658)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53096) - you deserved it (11974)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

#483847
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89808) - you deserved it (7040)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking my friends dog around the neighborhood, as I was walking I noticed a little girl fall off her bike. I let go of the dog and ran over to help. The girl was ok but the dog ran into the street and got hit by a truck. FML

#298417
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65345) - you deserved it (20580)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by the_dog_sitter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52308) - you deserved it (98066)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (11661)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)



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