About crazyjasmine24 : What's up? I'm Jasmine! I love basketball!
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crazyjasmine24's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous
by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Eri_Midori / 12/24/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Wtfbro / 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Love
by MymB612 / 12/24/2013 at 1:50am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by justin / 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML
by The_FN_Gunny / 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
by Greg / 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the… Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so… Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for…