Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crazyjasmine24

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 4:35am) | Search for a member

crazyjasmine24

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 760
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About crazyjasmine24 : What's up? I'm Jasmine! I love basketball!

crazyjasmine24's page activity

Visits<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:16pm<b>sh07</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:42am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 7:35am<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:55pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:53pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:54am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:13am<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:25am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:23am<b>luebbe</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:42am<b>opnionation</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:36am<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:26pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 8:26pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:39pm<b>je83185</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:54pm

crazyjasmine24's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of crazyjasmine24's badges

crazyjasmine24's favorite FMLs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49423) - you deserved it (9298)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58504) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41628) - you deserved it (7871) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (3360)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48924) - you deserved it (6446)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45627) - you deserved it (5189)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (5261)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (3691)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (5060)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (2924)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52290) - you deserved it (9203)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: