Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crazedcabbages

Search for a member

crazedcabbages
  • Town/Country : L.A
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About crazedcabbages : Jack and Jill went up the hill
to smoke some marijuana
Jack got high, unzipped his fly
and Jill said "Ooh, I wanna."

crazedcabbages's last visitors

Anarchy66Zaketh2112SockturtleninjaswaggyRedPillSucksHorde

crazedcabbages's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

crazedcabbages's favorite FMLs

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70728) - you deserved it (3924)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (12239)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (2280)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (28456)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (56867)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML

#13733621
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (12317)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (8294)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (33366)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (3555)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

#13634710
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (4673)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:48am - intimacy - by ohmylordy (man) - United States (California)

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

#13626232
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14198) - you deserved it (24654)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm - love - by Fatality (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (3252)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14112) - you deserved it (20668)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (40305)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: