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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 703
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About crapmaster3000 : Hi I'm an atheist if you don't like me I don't care. Don't shove your religious crap down my throat and I'll leave you alone. I'm also a gamer, PC master race consoles suck ass bye

crapmaster3000's page activity

Visits<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:59am<b>constipation</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 10:33am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:27am<b>mynameisshaye</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:57am<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:48pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:25am<b>spawnthrasher</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 11:00pm<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:38pm<b>KittyyCattyy</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 8:44pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:17pm<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:01pm<b>Kitchen_Ninja</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:27pm<b>JustShootMeFML</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:36pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>bands_justbands</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:43pm<b>lilDerp</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:14pm

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crapmaster3000's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51212) - you deserved it (4248)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (53389)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44030) - you deserved it (16486)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53408) - you deserved it (27527)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (4070)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52539) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML


I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (41171)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (2714)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43221) - you deserved it (13214)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (4504)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (7606)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML


I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (37902)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (5955)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

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