About crapmaster3000 : Hi I'm an atheist if you don't like me I don't care. Don't shove your religious crap down my throat and I'll leave you alone. I'm also a gamer, PC master race consoles suck ass bye
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crapmaster3000's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML
by maxkeyftw / 10/17/2013 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Health
Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML
by Schizomaniac / 09/19/2013 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health
by NewTenant / 06/20/2011 at 3:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by DeepTaccer / 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…