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crap1crap2crap3

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crap1crap2crap3

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  • Number of visits : 506
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Visits<b>HeinrichHimmler</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:10am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:03am<b>iswimfast03</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:31pm<b>j_js182</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 4:27am<b>Holly813</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 9:50pm<b>klutz44</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 1:07am<b>pekkamecha</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 12:29am<b>mrs_winchester96</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 9:52pm

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crap1crap2crap3's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (58523)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17752) - you deserved it (100798)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

#1653487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45798) - you deserved it (3366)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
926 comments

I agree, your life sucks (350599) - you deserved it (38693)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (284961) - you deserved it (19113)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241746) - you deserved it (32151)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (215289) - you deserved it (27938)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (41577)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60396) - you deserved it (13176)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14346) - you deserved it (60304)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281736) - you deserved it (51894)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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