About cranker08 : Hello FML :D
I love meatloaf!
How old? Old enough to kick your ass.
Just kidding, very friendly chick!
About cranker08 : Hello FML :D
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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
cranker08's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by uugnfg / 07/27/2010 at 12:38am / United States / Work
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Health
by wobbles / 12/04/2009 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
by Loveless / 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by boardman / 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 12:12am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…