About cranker08 : Hello FML :D
I love meatloaf!
How old? Old enough to kick your ass.
Just kidding, very friendly chick!
About cranker08 : Hello FML :D
cranker08's FML badges
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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
cranker08's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by notthebesttime / 10/13/2012 at 8:04am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 3:16am / United States / Money
by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
by Bec / 07/25/2011 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work
Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML
by Breanne / 07/14/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…