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crakbbyaparently

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crakbbyaparently
  • Town/Country : San Fran, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 December 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3121
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (2466)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

#74820 (34)

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (1460)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by sucks2suck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (6368)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (38009) - you deserved it (8653)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (47271)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (33438) - you deserved it (6123)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (43869)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (16853)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (4805)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

#63782 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (5267)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (30507)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (53966) - you deserved it (3762)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474 (14)

I agree, your life sucks (6950) - you deserved it (28162)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141757) - you deserved it (53047)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)