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cragar99

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cragar99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 August 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 72
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cragar99 : Wtf, who reads this

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cragar99's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (3715)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35636) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (4412)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (3143)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

#21250852
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33253) - you deserved it (12783)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm - misc - by akieferr - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (3205)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (5859)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39311) - you deserved it (3536)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48647) - you deserved it (7748)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50504) - you deserved it (4900)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39735) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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