crackpotL

Search for a member

Online

crackpotL

1Fucked!

crackpotLcrackpotL
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 September 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2492
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About crackpotL :

crackpotL's page activity

Visits<b>soccerqck</b> - yesterday at 2:30am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 11:30am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 10:51pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 5:10pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 4:34pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:10am<b>BlueBomberXZ</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:37am<b>jfreeman86</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 2:05am<b>sas313</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 6:50pm<b>raven83</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:50am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:25pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 6:19pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:39pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:09am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 11:56pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:23pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:56pm<b>a1blue</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>killjoyx</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:51pm

crackpotL's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of crackpotL's badges

crackpotL's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

by xXxJoe16xXx / 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

by dogsickftl / 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Transportation

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

by loser / 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

by Jay / 06/06/2009 at 9:17am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals