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crabby1999

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crabby1999

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  • Number of visits : 2821
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crabby1999's page activity

Visits<b>lilbird187</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:00pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:13pm<b>ObsidianDrone</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 10:47pm<b>fred1246810</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:41pm<b>PricelessHydra</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:24pm<b>honeybunny90</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:48pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:23pm<b>gramirez23</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:19am<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:49pm<b>Psufans</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:03am<b>sunshine41196</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:28am

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crabby1999's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

#21521749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (1933)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:54am - kids - by notsoproudfather - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

#21519742
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (1533)

On 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (4763)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

#21490914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (7683)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by a non e mouse - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

#21490908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about the difference between the U.S. and Canada when she asked me if they have their own government. She wasn't sure if they were governed by the U.S. or if they didn't have a government at all. She's a 33-year-old college graduate. FML

#21490675
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2471)

On 11/10/2015 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML

#21490397
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm - kids - by Kidsthesedays (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML

#21489803
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (1965)

On 11/08/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#21478153
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/10/2015 at 3:21am - kids - by JGarz (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

#21475453
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:45pm - love - by FML (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

#21465694
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (7998)

On 09/07/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Blackshadows (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (2375)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

#21459591
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/23/2015 at 6:22am - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

#21451161
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2304)

On 08/03/2015 at 1:31am - health - by sendhelp - United States (Utah)



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