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crabby1999

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crabby1999

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  • Number of visits : 215
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crabby1999's page activity

Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:49pm<b>Psufans</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:03am<b>sunshine41196</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:28am

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crabby1999's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (3794)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (18375)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2519) - you deserved it (18621)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34845) - you deserved it (211)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (16658)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36418) - you deserved it (4356)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (3685)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (1363)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (4285)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

#21209954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27175) - you deserved it (7131)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

#21209921
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (5592)

On 07/15/2014 at 5:24pm - health - by stinky breath - United States (California)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44338) - you deserved it (9635)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States



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