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crabby1999

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crabby1999

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  • Number of visits : 233
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Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:49pm<b>Psufans</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:03am<b>sunshine41196</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:28am

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crabby1999's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4388) - you deserved it (450)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5871) - you deserved it (909)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (40955)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32806) - you deserved it (2820)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39497) - you deserved it (4018)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45602) - you deserved it (4396)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (3410)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (4353)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50163) - you deserved it (4827)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (22203)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31689) - you deserved it (20592)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML



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