Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crabby1999

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

crabby1999

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

crabby1999's page activity

Visits<b>WCARlover</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:23pm<b>gramirez23</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:19am<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:49pm<b>Psufans</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:03am<b>sunshine41196</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:28am

crabby1999's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of crabby1999's badges

crabby1999's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (3084)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (4026)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30501) - you deserved it (17598)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40651) - you deserved it (7893)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (2703)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34286) - you deserved it (2714)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19679) - you deserved it (39526)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (5344)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (25029)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
150 comments


Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: