About cpatrick820 : I'm Colin, that scruffy, long haired fellow you see above this. I'm typically a laid back guy with no complaints or regrets. Reach me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/colin.patrick
cpatrick820's FML badges
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cpatrick820's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Montana) / Transportation
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…