Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cowtippinpeehand

Search for a member

cowtippinpeehand
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 442
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cowtippinpeehand : Blahh.

cowtippinpeehand's last visitors

Freeze

cowtippinpeehand's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of cowtippinpeehand's badges

cowtippinpeehand's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30616) - you deserved it (9233)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39366) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (2543)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (8393)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

#17378554
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you deserved it (36625)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (3839)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my parents woke me up at 4 am and informed me of their impending divorce. They then woke me up again three hours later and told me "never mind". This same routine happens several times a month. FML

#17375623
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30811) - you deserved it (1811)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:27am - misc - by iloveryanhiga (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44320) - you deserved it (2171)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (6970)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my landlord told me he is raising my rent next month. I thought he was kidding until he asked if I still wanted to live here. My landlord is also my live-in boyfriend. FML

#17370031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22339) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12911) - you deserved it (54443)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (42598)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (1962)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

#17354584
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (2466)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:49am - money - by Teen With No Money (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: