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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
2day mah neighbor at mah apartment building told me water from mah sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless looool he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do mah dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML
Today... I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened... the tow truck driver managed to take mah car and drive away... leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. big fat FML
Today I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could fine was some kind of Mexican fruit drink but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and putted her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Yesterday , looool I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit cuz he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse , falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered an said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, an that's why she has such bad balance. FML
Today , I showd the kids I was babysitting a picture of mah daughter , and the little girl askd , "You have a baby in yur belly?" I said , "No , she's not in mah belly anymore," and the little girl replid , "But it's BIG," and pattd mah stomach. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When mah 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants an peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out 4 upsetting her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that friends set up!! Not only did date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins!! When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered ( Fuck it ) and left!! mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015