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courtneycat79

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courtneycat79

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  • Number of visits : 522
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courtneycat79's page activity

Visits<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:23am

courtneycat79's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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courtneycat79's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65721) - you deserved it (7765)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55889) - you deserved it (4353)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (8651)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48661) - you deserved it (3115)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53043) - you deserved it (5858)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (4235)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55203) - you deserved it (3298)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58240) - you deserved it (3785)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54415) - you deserved it (21107)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52588) - you deserved it (8308)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57596) - you deserved it (35942)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

#20728644
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45855) - you deserved it (8932)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59874) - you deserved it (13562)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54047) - you deserved it (63262)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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