courtjester86

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Offline (the 09/04/2015 at 2:38am)

courtjester86

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2422
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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courtjester86's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:25pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:55am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:10pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:20am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:14am<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:13am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:58am<b>straww</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:01am<b>wowsuchdoge</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:15am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:15pm<b>j_cat187</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:22am<b>bas504</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:56am<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:59am<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:01pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Garret12</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:52pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>rahulcool7</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:55pm

Fucked!<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:10pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:15am

courtjester86's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of courtjester86's badges

courtjester86's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

by MisUnFortunate / 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

by fart / 11/27/2014 at 10:13am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

by nenette / 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm / France / Animals

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX / 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2014 at 4:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

by abbshows / 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.