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courtjester86

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courtjester86

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 507
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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courtjester86's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:20am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:14am<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:13am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:58am<b>straww</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:01am<b>wowsuchdoge</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:15am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:09am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:15pm<b>j_cat187</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:22am<b>bas504</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:56am<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:59am<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:01pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Garret12</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:52pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>rahulcool7</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:03pm<b>eggcupmoose</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:13pm

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:15am

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courtjester86's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32735) - you deserved it (3280)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (4329)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (2241)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (13757)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (25489)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (16730)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44777) - you deserved it (25519)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43403) - you deserved it (16192)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (15332)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

#21134956
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (5311)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by romancocks - United States (Florida)

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (4442)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (8565)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

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