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countrygirl626

Offline (the 10/12/2014 at 7:37am) | Search for a member

countrygirl626

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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countrygirl626's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37228) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (8646)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (5784)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (17862)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (5674)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (5658)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

#16939716
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35693) - you deserved it (9825)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41360) - you deserved it (3368)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13508) - you deserved it (31865)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)



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