countrygirl626

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Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 12:58am)

countrygirl626

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1822
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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countrygirl626's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:05pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:28pm<b>AmeliaSH</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>xxlowsnip3rxx</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:58am<b>Naleldan</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:00pm<b>blackwolf91</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:07am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 1:32pm<b>DisappearingRose</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:21am<b>tiarnatargaryen</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 8:37pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 3:05pm<b>greentooth</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:41pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 8:40pm<b>MrBitch</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:08pm

countrygirl626's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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countrygirl626's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

by FlorenceD / 08/12/2012 at 12:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

by Alisha / 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

by pimpslaprequired / 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 4:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love