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countrygirl626

Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 6:29am) | Search for a member

countrygirl626

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 759
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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countrygirl626's favorite FMLs

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (6946)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21194) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47813) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (7379)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (4847)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML

#20099391
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (5894)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (1564)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (2049)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18650) - you deserved it (3419)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20090) - you deserved it (12392)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

#20032826
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (14877)

On 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm - misc - by ThisGirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

#20030486
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (1596)

On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (2691)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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