countrygirl626

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Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 12:58am)

countrygirl626

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1571
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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countrygirl626's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:05pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:28pm<b>AmeliaSH</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>xxlowsnip3rxx</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:58am<b>Naleldan</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:00pm<b>blackwolf91</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:07am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 1:32pm<b>DisappearingRose</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:21am<b>tiarnatargaryen</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 8:37pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 3:05pm<b>greentooth</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:41pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 8:40pm<b>MrBitch</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:08pm

countrygirl626's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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countrygirl626's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

by Miki / 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE / 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham) / Love

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

by XxtentaculonxX / 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Love

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

by FMyEx / 12/06/2012 at 6:50am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 6:27am / Israel / Kids

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

by Nick / 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy