Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

countrygirl626

Offline (the 10/12/2014 at 7:37am) | Search for a member

countrygirl626

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 653
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

countrygirl626's page activity

Visits<b>AmeliaSH</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>xxlowsnip3rxx</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:58am<b>Naleldan</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:00pm<b>blackwolf91</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:07am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 1:32pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 12:45am<b>DisappearingRose</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:21am<b>tiarnatargaryen</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 8:37pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 3:05pm<b>greentooth</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:41pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 8:40pm<b>MrBitch</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:08pm<b>Notyours007</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 2:42pm

countrygirl626's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of countrygirl626's badges

countrygirl626's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (12657)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (7870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (3664) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (4983)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48435) - you deserved it (23865)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55076) - you deserved it (64189)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79588) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16869) - you deserved it (54627)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (8491)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (7269)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34659) - you deserved it (3395)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (3702)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (16090)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: