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Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 12:58am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1771
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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countrygirl626's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:05pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:28pm<b>AmeliaSH</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>xxlowsnip3rxx</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:58am<b>Naleldan</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:00pm<b>blackwolf91</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:07am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 1:32pm<b>DisappearingRose</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:21am<b>tiarnatargaryen</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 8:37pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 3:05pm<b>greentooth</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:41pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 8:40pm<b>MrBitch</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:08pm

countrygirl626's FML badges

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countrygirl626's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

by WeHitTurbulence / 03/08/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

by Dkim620 / 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm / United States / Love

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous