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countrygirl30

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countrygirl30

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  • Number of visits : 468
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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countrygirl30's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (6687)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45430) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (17027)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (17027)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46372) - you deserved it (7924)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (2974)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48610) - you deserved it (6158)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (4515)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23860) - you deserved it (2636)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27697) - you deserved it (4299)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (1592)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)



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