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coullwhip

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coullwhip

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 28
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About coullwhip : I actually downloaded this app for my boyfriend, guess that says everything :)

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coullwhip's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44245) - you deserved it (6440)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61728) - you deserved it (5415)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

#20585940
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (13372)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37212) - you deserved it (9089)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13202) - you deserved it (79326)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47187) - you deserved it (5429)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63547) - you deserved it (3044)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14395) - you deserved it (35775)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (5204)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37124) - you deserved it (5456)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32015) - you deserved it (7137)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44930) - you deserved it (7418)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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