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cottoncandymango

Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 8:16am) | Search for a member

cottoncandymango

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1613
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cottoncandymango : Movie enthusiast, ice cream addict, full-time chocolate lover, and procrastinator extraordinaire. I love Italian food, naps, and being happy. ♡

cottoncandymango's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Colourize</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:34pm<b>Krbsmommy</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:16am<b>conman531</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:00pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:10pm<b>alex1010</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:24am<b>kashicookie</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:38am<b>mathen</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:34am<b>Bryanb1306</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:44am<b>samstien</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:05am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:15am<b>sky413</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:29pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:51pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:23am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>NUUUUUUUU</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:56am<b>potatofries1111</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:51am<b>jojoluv132</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:43pm

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cottoncandymango's favorite FMLs

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50710) - you deserved it (6637)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54780) - you deserved it (4576)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (39357)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53783) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49858) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (6136)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (44050)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59240) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47446) - you deserved it (17731)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54052) - you deserved it (18155)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50834) - you deserved it (4828)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

#20821432
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (4354)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:11am - health - by seriously? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61186) - you deserved it (4173)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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