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cottoncandymango

Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 8:16am) | Search for a member

cottoncandymango

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1818
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cottoncandymango : Movie enthusiast, ice cream addict, full-time chocolate lover, and procrastinator extraordinaire. I love Italian food, naps, and being happy. ♡

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cottoncandymango's favorite FMLs

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (38798)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my wedding photos back from my sister, a "professional" photographer who offered to do our wedding as a gift. It turns out that not only did she not catch most of the ceremony or reception, but all of the outdoor photos feature a large garbage bag in the background. FML

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42856) - you deserved it (4875)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45402) - you deserved it (2408)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44771) - you deserved it (2805)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (2868)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48594) - you deserved it (8074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48229) - you deserved it (4833)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47772) - you deserved it (4148)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

#20851748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (7225)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:28am - health - by HannahBretts - United States (California)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39062) - you deserved it (3064)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43836) - you deserved it (5252)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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