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cottenstroer

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cottenstroer
  • Town/Country : Annandale, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 September 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 234
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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cottenstroer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51207) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (8451)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

#17260985
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (5989)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (3269)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36667) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66659) - you deserved it (6941)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30539) - you deserved it (3031)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37580) - you deserved it (15286)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (5252)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (13126)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (33847)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (4668)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

#15831633
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9199) - you deserved it (48727)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (6705)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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