Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cosmosummerfield

Search for a member

cosmosummerfield
  • Town/Country : Northampton, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 December 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cosmosummerfield's last visitors

Comet_CandyTaytochill23demi94katie_xoxo3mFUNdo21krupa1017CassyRosieTheImaginarySongPastelPotatoesNotMyDay5Vanillanougat

cosmosummerfield's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of cosmosummerfield's badges

cosmosummerfield's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45325) - you deserved it (11013)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (15279)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53043) - you deserved it (4599)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53576) - you deserved it (6493)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63144) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57344) - you deserved it (3820)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41829) - you deserved it (10143)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43508) - you deserved it (13958)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (7325)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

#3984590
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (9768)

On 07/23/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by simon (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: