Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cornyrob

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

cornyrob

0Liked!

cornyrobcornyrob
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 February 1966 (48 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 313
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.

cornyrob's page activity

Visits<b>lolonewsom</b> - yesterday at 10:45pm<b>VGQ</b> - yesterday at 3:54pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:07am<b>feven</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 8:41pm<b>demi94</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:20pm<b>iTzYourDad</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:43pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:03am<b>88fjtus</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:02pm<b>kimmi5</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:37pm<b>ns1985</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:13pm<b>bcofelia</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:38pm<b>TehEpicBlack</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:15pm<b>abattior</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:44am<b>ImDoghouse</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:21am<b>R2Y2</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:11am<b>killerdana</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:26am

cornyrob's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cornyrob's badges

cornyrob's favorite FMLs

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (5113)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46797) - you deserved it (4674)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

#21190114
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43805) - you deserved it (3835)

On 06/27/2014 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

#21175131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44830) - you deserved it (6210)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:31am - love - by mydatinglifesucks - United States

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (7154)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (6738)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37633) - you deserved it (5834)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41406) - you deserved it (6222)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (7923)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60329) - you deserved it (8971)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: