About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.
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cornyrob's favorite FMLs
by I'm out / 09/06/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML
by nes0385 / 08/27/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by MrLonelyHertz / 08/24/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
by PlsForget / 08/18/2016 at 5:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I got yelled at in my office. It's construction, and I'm the youngest woman. One of my male bosses yelled at me because grown-ass adults won't sign in the log. Either I get my ass kicked by construction guys over a sign-in sheet, or yelled at by my boss. I can't win. FML
by xAdtrx3x / 08/11/2016 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML
by NotAGoodDay / 08/10/2016 at 2:57pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 4:33pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
by Toroka / 07/29/2016 at 2:59pm / Love
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, on my holiday in Thailand I was using the ATM to withdraw $500 worth of Baht. While doing this the ATM crashed and decided to restart. After 5 minutes it spat my card out and nothing else. When I returned to the hotel to use the Wifi, the ATM had deducted the money from my account. FML
by problems / 07/27/2016 at 2:43am / Thailand (Phuket) / Holidays
Today, after months of putting up with it, I finally asked my manager not to put me on shifts with this old guy who is racist, sexist and lazy. This was how I found out that he died over the weekend. FML
by fmlsheffgirl / 07/25/2016 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Work
by ladams94 / 07/17/2016 at 2:39pm / Work
Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML
by ObviousBooty / 07/17/2016 at 3:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Lil Bro / 07/16/2016 at 10:05pm / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…