About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.
cornyrob's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
cornyrob's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
by Thanksmom / 03/18/2016 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
Today, after returning to work from a week-long sickness, I sent out an apologetic email to all of my clients to explain my lack of communication due to absence. I realised afterwards I had put the subject line as 'Absense'. And sent it to all of my clients. FML
by absense / 03/16/2016 at 3:43am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I have watched the Elmo's World episode featuring balls ten times in a row. The toddler I'm watching screams if I put on something different. His mom just said she was stuck in traffic. She should be back in about five and a half more replays. FML
by help me / 03/15/2016 at 9:05pm / United States (California) / Kids
by well damn / 02/29/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
Today, while doing the grocery shopping with my boyfriend we came across another woman also out shopping, who looked shockingly like me despite her being another race, hair color and the like. The second he saw her, he blurted out, ''Oh, it's a pretty version of you!'' FML
by FuglyBetty / 02/24/2016 at 5:48pm / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous
Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by noO / 02/07/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML
by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 2:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by soni_miller / 01/26/2016 at 1:02am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by 99jellybean / 01/25/2016 at 10:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by helloimkylieee / 01/24/2016 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous