About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.
cornyrob's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
cornyrob's favorite FMLs
by poorbeauty / 06/10/2016 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by TacoMan32 / 06/10/2016 at 12:29am / Canada / Love
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Today, I finally got my screaming, teething, 1-year-old daughter down for a nap to hopefully get some work done. The second I opened my laptop, FedEx dropped off a package and rang the doorbell. My dog went nuts. Then my neighbor rang the doorbell to let me know I had a package. My daughter's awake now. FML
by ryzzostar / 05/25/2016 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by boipucci / 04/21/2016 at 9:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by only child says fuck you mom / 04/10/2016 at 10:56am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2016 at 7:41am / United States (New York) / Health
by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2016 at 5:26pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
by Jake Leiter / 03/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
by Thanksmom / 03/18/2016 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…