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corapera

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corapera
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 April 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 27
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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corapera's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (4476)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47290) - you deserved it (5529)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (8290)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51193) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49647) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42120) - you deserved it (3637)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (17340)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41225) - you deserved it (2718)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (10280)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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