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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Perfectionist
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Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9760) - you deserved it (19388)
On 12/07/2010 at 12:47am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (1801)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (2557)
On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (5957)
On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11013) - you deserved it (24121)
On 11/19/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by kay_jay1819 (woman) - United States
Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16664) - you deserved it (3933)
On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (2253)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9548) - you deserved it (19221)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (3919)
On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47358) - you deserved it (6503)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (6347)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:47am - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2159)
On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53714) - you deserved it (7014)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28484) - you deserved it (20807)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (2838)
On 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm - intimacy - by shiznit - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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