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cooterpie

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cooterpie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3755
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cooterpie's page activity

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cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (3574)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

#15257767
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (5931)

On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

#15248792
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (5717)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (4597)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (4479)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9403) - you deserved it (49327)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37718) - you deserved it (4429)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (3360)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (3097)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (8033)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (4800)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (4800)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

#14768541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (9826)

On 01/30/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by effingdoucher (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44909) - you deserved it (5428)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44909) - you deserved it (5428)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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