Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cooterpie

Search for a member

cooterpie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5645
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cooterpie's page activity

Visits<b>srgsk9</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:37am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:30pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sehrgutmann</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:32am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:14pm<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:07am<b>kingpuppy18</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:47pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 7:09pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 7:54pm<b>salamander461</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:43pm<b>6string_lady</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 8:24pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:33am<b>luvbeccaxxx</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ironman49</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:01pm<b>Trish01</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:09am<b>P1Nk13</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 8:27am<b>itsadisorder</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 7:29pm

cooterpie's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cooterpie's badges

cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. real FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33200) - you deserved it (3584)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

#15257767
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (6128)

On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday... mah boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized an said he meant his wife an child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

#15248792
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39663) - you deserved it (5734)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrotehile staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked . The same table we often eat off . fat FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (4613)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today , I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly , but they were inside the building , which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside , in front of a crowd of onlookers. real FML

#15039071
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28256) - you deserved it (4575)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I downloaded an application fir my phone that readshatever you type out loud. I started making it say things lyk ( You lyk ithen daddy spanks yur tight little ass don't you? ) Just as the message was playing back out loud... my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9463) - you deserved it (49551)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today I ave a condition tat en I pull my foreskin back it looks as if a rubber band as been put on it. Te doctor told me te only way to fix it was to ave me crcumcised. My mum lauged ten asked im if e ad a magnifying lens to do it. mega FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (4446)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the drect sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain!! Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, ( Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends? ) FML

#14898622
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii!! When we both threw out our hands at the same time my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail!! As I stared at the bloody half hanging off nail my mom muttered "You should have stayed in yur dance space." FML

#14852761
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (8306)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was startlad awaka at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Complataly sarious, I askad mah fiancé if ha had just shit his pants. His rasponsa: gigglas followad by a softly whisparad "mayba". FML

#14794923
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (4814)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was startlad awaka at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Complataly sarious, I askad mah fiancé if ha had just shit his pants. His rasponsa: gigglas followad by a softly whisparad "mayba". FML

#14794923
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (4814)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I was having sax with a guy I mat at mah friand's party. Ha stoppad mid-thrust , climbad off , an startad talking about how narvous ha is about buying his frst car naxt waak. FML

#14768541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (9855)

On 01/30/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by effingdoucher (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... mah roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door an lying motionless in a bathtub full of water an red coloring. When I went... horrified... to take a closer look... he lunged at me an screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (5601)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... mah roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door an lying motionless in a bathtub full of water an red coloring. When I went... horrified... to take a closer look... he lunged at me an screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (5601)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: