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cooterpie

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cooterpie
  • Town/Country : Usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2831
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (11794)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (2447)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (3057) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (48288)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (21449)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

#15812903
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (7276)

On 04/16/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by TDCC (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54182) - you deserved it (4056)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

#15702411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39678) - you deserved it (2986)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:02am - love - by WhatTheBleep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56869) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (52541) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48396) - you deserved it (3773)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

#15267511
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (3109)

On 03/10/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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