Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cooterpie

Search for a member

cooterpie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3709
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cooterpie's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sehrgutmann</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:32am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:14pm<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:07am<b>kingpuppy18</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:47pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 7:09pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 7:54pm<b>salamander461</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:43pm<b>6string_lady</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 8:24pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:33am<b>luvbeccaxxx</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ironman49</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:01pm<b>Trish01</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:09am<b>P1Nk13</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 8:27am<b>itsadisorder</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 7:29pm<b>Andosworld</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:47pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:36pm

cooterpie's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cooterpie's badges

cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (14454)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

#16460145
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (2379)

On 06/01/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by evomadrid24 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (2761)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51786) - you deserved it (17580)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (42351)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (42925)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (7207)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

#15985974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (7252)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

#15964588
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41283) - you deserved it (4292)

On 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (4760)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36863) - you deserved it (4826)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

#15949652
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49412) - you deserved it (4146)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by disfunctionalfamily (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12792) - you deserved it (38663)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

#15937673
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13473) - you deserved it (23007)

On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (5926)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: