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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Perfectionist
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Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (5605)
On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex husband. My wifes excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16280) - you deserved it (3634)
On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (56920)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13706) - you deserved it (2164)
On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16272) - you deserved it (3312)
On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (5510)
On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (1860)
On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version
Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4935) - you deserved it (14904)
On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (13465)
On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6294) - you deserved it (40373)
On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (7081)
On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version
Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16088) - you deserved it (5998)
On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (5595)
On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (1648)
On 11/23/2008 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ptiluinthesky - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (7120)
On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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