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cooterpie

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cooterpie
  • Town/Country : Usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2776
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

#1122
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6797) - you deserved it (19116)

On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14482) - you deserved it (4367)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML

#969
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5212) - you deserved it (23393)

On 01/11/2009 at 1:08pm - love - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22253) - you deserved it (6967)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (4596)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you deserved it (67156)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14268) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19581) - you deserved it (4180)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32468) - you deserved it (5599)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (21986)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (14460)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (50656)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (7193)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version



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