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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Perfectionist
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Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (1975)
On 06/23/2011 at 4:17am - work - by luroluro - United States
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (2635)
On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (7179)
On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29949) - you deserved it (10446)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48227) - you deserved it (6283)
On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (5101)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8800) - you deserved it (28406)
On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (10788)
On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (1777)
On 06/01/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by evomadrid24 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (2490)
On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45444) - you deserved it (13597)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17589) - you deserved it (31057)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (33487)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30387) - you deserved it (5739)
On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (5639)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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