cooterpie

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cooterpie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8639
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cooterpie's page activity

Visits<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:53pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:21pm<b>srgsk9</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:37am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:30pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sehrgutmann</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:32am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:14pm<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:07am<b>kingpuppy18</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:47pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 7:09pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 7:54pm<b>salamander461</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:43pm<b>6string_lady</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 8:24pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:33am<b>luvbeccaxxx</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ironman49</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:01pm<b>Trish01</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:05pm

cooterpie's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cooterpie's badges

cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

by Nell / 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

by luroluro / 06/23/2011 at 4:17am / United States / Work

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

by shyshy96679 / 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

by evomadrid24 / 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy