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cooterpie

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cooterpie
  • Town/Country : Usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2786
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (11238)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (5252)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33495) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (4806)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into trouble with his mother for me still being at their house at 1:00 am. I'm 24, he's 22 and we really were studying. FML

#18492041
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/12/2011 at 2:44am - love - by smurfisurfer1 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (39184)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (37025)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

#18424038
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50960) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37669) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17404) - you deserved it (1594)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17404) - you deserved it (1594)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML

#18359248
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:12pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (5328)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)



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