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Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (27559)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (2441)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (1565)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (1565)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (3008)
On 11/26/2011 at 7:12pm - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39532) - you deserved it (4281)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (2108)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (1531)
On 11/18/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (1381)
On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (2894)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (12639)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (7627)
Monday 20 May 2013
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