cooterpie

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cooterpie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8618
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cooterpie's page activity

Visits<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:53pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:21pm<b>srgsk9</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:37am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:30pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sehrgutmann</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:32am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:14pm<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:07am<b>kingpuppy18</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:47pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 7:09pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 7:54pm<b>salamander461</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:43pm<b>6string_lady</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 8:24pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:33am<b>luvbeccaxxx</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ironman49</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:01pm<b>Trish01</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:05pm

cooterpie's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cooterpie's badges

cooterpie's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

by sadinmass / 11/13/2010 at 8:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:47am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

by tuppu / 11/03/2010 at 10:35am / Finland / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

by tht1chk / 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

by shiznit / 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

by sugar / 10/18/2010 at 8:23am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 2:36am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

by princessj / 10/16/2010 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

by racist / 10/15/2010 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids