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cooper_trooper's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
by mom / 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous
by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy
Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML
by SApprentice / 12/04/2012 at 2:10am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by schooyou101 / 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
by Nick / 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…