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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (4043)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (16268)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9048) - you deserved it (32039)
On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11357) - you deserved it (24372)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (7274)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32537) - you deserved it (8441)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12215) - you deserved it (32630)
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (4192)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (5621)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (5701)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8312) - you deserved it (20018)
On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (15155)
On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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