Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

coolster5000

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

coolster5000

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

coolster5000's page activity

Visits<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 5:20pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:48pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:12pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:23pm<b>victoria63</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:36pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 7:55pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:59pm<b>mandygrl25</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:52pm<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:25am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:28pm<b>april199</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:08pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:06am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:44am<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:14am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:06pm

Liked!<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:12pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:18am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:51am<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:25am

coolster5000's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of coolster5000's badges

coolster5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17954) - you deserved it (39717)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (15709)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (15709)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (1863)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (5179)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29778) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17776) - you deserved it (2003)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (9134)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (9134)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (3713)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (5193)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (12540)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: