This member hasn't filled in the description.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (1705)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15368) - you deserved it (1600)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)
Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20130) - you deserved it (2598)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (1146)
On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (1535)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (1565)
On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19778) - you deserved it (1193)
On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (1790)
On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (1937)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (1589)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (4066)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12816) - you deserved it (32067)
On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12560) - you deserved it (3806)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Sunday 12 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
