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coolbeansg

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coolbeansg

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  • Number of visits : 147
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:18am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:32am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 11:56am<b>syki</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:46pm

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coolbeansg's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43202) - you deserved it (2548)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (5387)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (2639)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (89209)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (5013)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39138) - you deserved it (6689)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (4808)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17863) - you deserved it (128595)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42833) - you deserved it (7706)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19443) - you deserved it (60279)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (9020)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50864) - you deserved it (6468)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59209) - you deserved it (37004)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)



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