cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8970
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 9:33pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:46pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:28am<b>redheadedbabe420</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:12am<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:44am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:54am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:21pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:30pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:35am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:46am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:04pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

by toiletgirl / 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

by ohcrap / 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

by ouch / 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

by smart phone mms / 12/07/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

by inpain / 11/20/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

by Paramedic / 11/17/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Rochdale) / Work

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

by missmycomp / 11/12/2009 at 9:36am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

by mylifereallysuks / 11/08/2009 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

by WasteOfTime / 11/01/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Transportation

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids