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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3216
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:11am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:38am<b>Bukowskiwasanass</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 4:32pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:32am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:09pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:58pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>dmblonde</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:18am

Liked!<b>amandathecreator</b> - yesterday at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52657) - you deserved it (4139)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you deserved it (38094)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

#18045518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (5971)

On 10/22/2011 at 11:32am - misc - by Hair Fail - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15216) - you deserved it (58806)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (16798) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

#18044190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (6019)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:34am - misc - by tom0441 - Reserved

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49605) - you deserved it (3870)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (59076)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51904) - you deserved it (16570)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32933) - you deserved it (6436)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (19896)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (2490)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (8548)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)



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