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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5757
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:35am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:05pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm

Fucked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65121) - you deserved it (4824)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

#18119060
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (47339)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by j3r3zana16 (woman) - Canada

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

#18109822
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33587) - you deserved it (8917)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46346) - you deserved it (2683)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (23407)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

#18106898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11537) - you deserved it (29380)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (5857)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (19811)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (41280)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

#18057227
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (2523)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by charlotte9338 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52872) - you deserved it (4158)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (38244)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)



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